


Wanting

by the_impossible_twin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Destiel - Freeform, Fix-It of Sorts, Love Confessions, M/M, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:55:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27516457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_impossible_twin/pseuds/the_impossible_twin
Summary: He's gone. But not with Dean around.What happens after 15x18. SPOILERS for Season 15.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 44





	Wanting

**Author's Note:**

> I just wrote a quick one-shot that takes place after 15x18. SPOILERS FOR THAT EPISODE. 
> 
> I can't believe Destiel is sort of canon. As if 2020 wasn't crazy enough...  
> Guess I just have to read Destiel fanfic and jam out to  
> "Angel with a Shotgun."
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoy!

_I love you. Goodbye, Dean. I love you. I love you. I love you._

Those words screamed in Dean’s ears as he covered his tear-stung eyes with his bruised hands. The cold concrete ground punctured his body, trembling.

There was no body. That was Dean’s first thought before anything. He won’t even get see Cas again. Not even his angel corpse, cast forever into the blackness of the Empty-

Dean gasped again, trying to catch air before sobbing once more. Cas loved him. And Dean couldn’t even say it back.

“You dumbass,” he muttered. “Why did you do that?” But Cas wasn’t there to defend himself.

Dean looked down at his ruffled clothing, only beginning to notice the handprint on his shoulder. Sam had called him again, but Dean didn’t pick it up. How to tell him? That the love of his life, his best friend, is dead because of him?

_You’re the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know._

Selfless? Bullshit. Why didn’t he push Cas out of the way? Fight the Empty with his bare hands? Why didn’t he say anything? _I love you too_ , would’ve been good to say.

Dean let out a shaky sob, the cool tears stinging his cheeks. “I keep thinking of you man, and I hope you hear me,” Dean said in the first hour. He had tried praying so many times. “Can you hear me? Please? Look, I’m sorry for everything, and I-I need you to come back.” Dean opened his eyes.

Nothing.

“I love you, please come back,” Dean finally cried. He punched his fist against the brick wall, crying. “I love you, Cas, please just come back-“

“SHUT UP!” A voice rang out. Dean snapped his head towards it, seeing Meg, the Empty, with an annoyed look. She crossed her arms, rolling her eyes. “I cannot sleep, so shut up about all your feelings. I. Do. Not. Care.” Dean pressed her against the wall with his elbow.

She laughed, spiting in his face.

“Bring him back, now.” He breathed. “NOW,” Dean screamed.

Meg laughed. “I can’t. Deal’s a deal.” “What was the deal? Tell me-“

“Castiel, he already told you,” she smiled. “I was nice, you know. Let him experience a moment of true happiness, and then I take him away.”

“You _bitch_ -“

Meg punched him in the face, pressing his body against the brick. “Don’t call me that,” she growled. “It was his choice, Dean Winchester. Now, stop sulking and kill God or whatever you have to do-“

“Bring them back. Bring him back. I know,” Dean said as she walked away from him. “I know you’ve taken them all away. I want them back.”

“Well,” the Empty examined Meg’s nails. “We don’t always get what we want.”

_The one thing I want, it's something I know I can't have._ Cas's voice haunted him. Dean closed his eyes, sucking in a breath. “Why? Why do you want them?”

Meg smiled smugly. “Why do you want _him_?”

“It’s Cas! We need him-“ “Wrong. You don’t need him. Your angel…. He’s gone, get over it.” He would never get over it. Never.

Dean cried, “I love him! Please,” he fell to the ground on his knees. “Please, bring him back!”

Meg laughed. “Begging? I thought the Winchesters were above it. This is…” she continued to laugh until her face became serious. “If I let you see him for a moment, will you let me sleep?”

“Bring everyone back,” Dean said, standing up, “and I’ll make sure you sleep forever.”

Meg tilted her head. “Now that is an interesting deal, but how will you ensure my slumber?”

“We’ll figure it out.”

Meg stepped closer to him, grabbing the collar of his shirt. “I don’t like loose-ends, Dean Winchester.”

Dean tightened his fist. “Fine,” he muttered. “You don’t bring my people, Cas, back, we’ll make sure you can’t sleep.”

Meg narrowed her eyes. “You threatening me?” She smiled. “I don’t think you’re in a position to do that. I could kill you.”

“So why don’t you?” Dean asked.

“I can’t kill you. God would kill me. You’re his.” “Just let me see Cas,” Dean begged.

“Three minutes.” Meg sighed. “Three minutes, and then let me sleep. Your prayers are waking me and everyone up.” Dean exhaled. Meg snapped her fingers, and then there was darkness.

He opened his eyes, seeing nothing but black.

“Cas!” Dean yelled. “Are you here?” The Winchester called his name several more times. “Cas! Where-“ He felt a hand on his shoulder. Dean slowly looked back, and he was there. Cas was there.

“Cas,” Dean whispered, his voice breaking. “Is that you?”

Cas smiled. “Yes.” He then frowned. “Why are you here?” “Long story,” Dean said. “I don’t have a lot of time. But please, you need to come back-“

“Dean,” his voice softened. “I can’t go back.”

“But you have to. We can’t do this without you. I can’t do this without you,” Dean started to cry.

Cas put both hands on Dean’s shoulders. “You can, Dean. I know you can.”

“It’s not fair man,” Dean sobbed. “Why do you die? I should’ve-“

“No, Dean. I made my choice. I love Jack, Sam. I love you. This- this is what is supposed to happen.”

“Well, what about what _you_ want? What do you want?” Dean could feel more tears dripping down his face.

“I told you, Dean. You know what I want. I want-“

“I-I love you,” Dean managed to stutter out. “I want you. I love you, Cas. Please, just-“ He kissed him long and hard. He finally let go, Cas with the biggest smile on his face.

“I love you too,” Cas said. He kissed Dean back.

“I think I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” Dean admitted. “Come back with me, please,” he whispered.

Cas shook his head. “It’s too late, Dean. It’s too late.” He started to fade away, but Dean held onto his hand. “It’s never too late. I’ll get you back, Cas, I promise!” He said sternly.

Cas kissed him one more time. “Goodbye, Dean.”

Dean was thrown back into darkness, and then he woke up. His first thought, _I’ll get him back_.

**Author's Note:**

> I know it may seem a little out of character for Dean, but I'm just here for the ride. Have a lovely day!


End file.
